Family Matters

I took down the blog I wrote following my visit to Adoption Services.  Raw and full of emotion.  But I’ve kept it, and friends and family are welcome to read it if they want, because it’s an important record of this journey.  Priscilla, the caseworker I saw was very kind, and really wanted to help me, and I do not want to jeopardise her position in any way.  Supportive readers were already starting to share the post and so it seems wise to unpost it.  I had a real sense of Priscilla wanting to help me, more than the Chinese Privacy Laws allowed.  And I know she will also try to do the same for other adoptees in the future.  Best not to jeopardise others’ chances.  As the days go by I realise I am one of thousands.  This is so much bigger than me.  And this is just in Hong Kong.  Orphans who were placed in orphanages and not adopted, just leaving when they reached young adulthood.  Babies and children informally adopted by other Chinese families, with no records.  Some may not even know they were ‘adopted’.  Others, like me adopted internationally as part of the United Nations Refugee Programme in the 1960s.  So many of us.  All orphans but with very different stories.  

Today I got an email from Priscilla.  There was so much to take in during our two and a half hour meeting, that maybe I misunderstood, but it appears I had 6 half siblings, not 5.  Two died in infancy, so at the time of my birth I had two brothers, and two sisters.  One of the brothers had already been given up for adoption, like me, but there are no records of his adoption.

The idea that I have another big half brother, also ‘presented away’ leaves me open mouthed, a stupid dumbfounded look upon my face,  ‘You could have knocked me down with a feather’ is a saying that takes on a real meaning for me today.

So today, eating fresh slices of orange and drinking green tea, I have mostly been pondering upon families. My birth family, my adopted family, and my own dear little family that I’ve left back in the UK.  Family matters.  Yes.  Family matters.

Published by backstagestives

Looking for my long lost family in Hong Kong And previously.... Fell in love with coastal living 5 years ago. And moved to stunning St Ives. A place to create and grow and flourish. Got me a home and a job. And never looked back. Everyone talks and writes about the famous dead people of St Ives. Virginia and Alfred and Ben and Barbara and Peter and Wilhelmina. Well I thought I’d introduce you to some very nice folk, and they’re all very much alive and make St Ives a much the better town for it.

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2 Comments

  1. Yes, family is important. The love you have right now for the family you have here in the UK is the most wonderful gift you could ever receive. The love you feel for your new granddaughter is so pure as will hers be for you. Until I had grandchildren I didn’t realise I could love so much it is overwhelming sometimes. And I’m sure you feel the same way too.

    So what now lovely Laura?

    Axx

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  2. Hello, what next indeed? It was never just about finding the lost family, but also about making the journey to here, to where I was born, to my Mother’s birth village. I may never find anyone, but it feels so good to have tried. As Winnie says, sometimes it’s also about fate and I’m happy to rest a while whilst she decides what hand to play x

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