Is just one of the decisions I am making as I prepare for my unexpected and shorter trip back ‘home’ to Hong Kong. Not quite as simple as whether to pack an electric toothbrush for a 20 night stay away, or whether to pack 5 pairs of socks or 4.
Let me write it down for you, we say about recipes, and writing “it” down can be a recipe for a far tastier, far more savoury life. Recipes are precise, even if their language is offhand. A pinch of salt. Writing out how we feel and what we think is also precise-even if what we are writing is “I’m not sure about what’s going on between us right now. Writing is a way not only to metabolise life but to alchemise it as well. It is a way to transform what happens to us from passive to active….
So writes Julia Cameron in The Right to Write, my bible of how to continue to make writing a pleasurable and integral part of my life, without getting hung up on ‘is it good enough’, am I a proper writer. Will I ever write my memoirs, get published, blah blah blah? Julia encourages me, encourages us all, to write because we want to, need to, because it’s an integral part of being human.
I want to blog, but if I do, I want this time’s blog to have structure. I want to be more clear about why I am blogging, to whom, about what. What is off limits, is a blog that omits what is uppermost and most important in my mind a blog worth blogging? I talk about whether I will blog to a dear writer friend. Discuss how I stumbled into blogging at the beginning of my last 90 days in Hong Kong. How it morphed from a personal account, just to record my thoughts and feelings, into something more. A way of staying connected, to myself and to those I wanted to tell about my journey, what was happening to me, as myself became a new self in a new home country with a new birth family.
That was before. The 90 days to find my birth family. A first attempt to blog. A contained piece.
And now I’m preparing to go back, for 20 days, to re meet with my birth family. To claim some records about our Mother and our early childhood lives that Hong Kong Social Welfare are reluctantly yielding. I will also hopefully get my Hong Kong permanent ID card, celebrate new found siblings’ birthdays, get to know them individually in quieter times not dependent on the rules of Chinese New Year Celebrations, meet unmet nephews and nieces, ask for a second DNA testing to confirm the possibility that my birth father and theirs were related. Improve my smattering of Cantonese.
A smaller, but no less important piece of writing. Yes, Yes, I will blog. A decision as easy as deciding to take 5 pairs of socks.
As Julia says,
We are all works in progress. We are all rough drafts. None of us is finished, final, “done”. How much healthier and happier if …….. we put “it” – all of “it” – in writing: the flaws, foibles, fantasies and frailties that make us human.
And now I’m left wondering, perhaps I should pack 7 pairs of socks. What do you think?